


The Hell's That Noise?

by Cojiko



Series: The Krillin Rare-Pair Melting Pot [4]
Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Ambiguously Bi?, Ambiguously Gay, Humor, It's a big maybe, Keyhole Peeping, Links, M/M, Massage, Maybe - Freeform, Mild Language, Not What It Looks Like, One Shot, Peeping, Rare Pairings, Seductive Noises, Short One Shot, Small Bald, Swearing, Tall Bald, Weirdness, Yamcha's the one making the assumptions, bit of a crack fic, crack ship, i dunno, mild swearing, semi-NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 19:43:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20413273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cojiko/pseuds/Cojiko
Summary: Boy, it was a weird-ass night up at Kami’s Lookout.(Takes place during the training period before Vegeta and Nappa arrive)- - -Everyday, I stray further from my PG-13 standard.





	The Hell's That Noise?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the massage scene from Danganronpa 2

Boy, it sure was a weird-ass night up at Kami’s Lookout.

“Mmph…That’s it…”

“So, you like having pressure put _there_, huh…?”

Yamcha thought it was all in his head. He’d just gotten finished with his dinner and had a couple cups of wine with it. It was really the only other drink on the Lookout besides water and despite his reservations about it, the ex-bandit felt like he needed some kind of hard drink. When you just got your ass handed to you by imaginary Sayains from the past, you’d probably want something to ease the humiliation…

So after getting himself a moderate buzz, Yamcha decided to walk on back to his room for the night and sleep it off. He should really thank Kami for giving him and his friends their own rooms. Can’t imagine where else they could’ve gone to sleep these past two months. Sleeping on the floor wasn’t going to help anyone when the actual Sayains arrived in ten months.

Anyways, Yamcha was about to head inside when he’d heard these weird noises coming from the room next to his.

_(Tien’s room…)_

If he wasn’t going crazy, it sounded like the noises were…voices? They were muffled, but Yamcha could hear a few words from beyond the mahogany door. They both sounded strained and, if he wasn’t mistaken, very familiar. There were only about five to seven people at the Lookout right now, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to figure out who was talking in there. He could just press his ear against the door or peep through the lock to get his answer…

But…is this really any of Yamcha’s business? I mean, this wasn’t his bedroom he was about to investigate and he certainly wouldn’t want other people snooping around _his_ doorstep. It’d probably be best to just ignore this strange instance and go to bed. There was probably nothing remotely interesting or special inside Tien’s room…

_(Eh, why not?)_

Going with his buzzed brain and against his better judgment, the ex-bandit walked over and gently placed an ear on the wood to listen in.

“Do that again, Tien. Ngh…Harder.” A familiar voice whined out.

“C-Can you keep it down, Krillin? You’re making this…_way_ more awkward than it needs to be…”

“O-Oh…Heh, sorry ‘bout that. You’re just…_really_ good at doing thi-HIS!” Krillin let out another breathy whine.

_(What the fuck…?)_

So it was Krillin and/or Tien making those noises? Well, at least Yamcha could say that they weren’t moans of pain or anything, but everything else just raises more questions than answers! Like, why was Krillin inside Tien’s bedroom? When did he get in there with the Triclops? Just what could they be doing in there to be creating these…oddly sensual moans? There weren’t a whole lot of situations where someone would be vocal like this-

And then the metaphorical baseball hit.

_(̷̨̗̮͖̈́̄̀̋͘ͅÓ̷̼͍̲̘̲̈́̽̊͠h̸͕̱̲͙͔̉̈́͆͘͠ ̸̰͚̙̮̉͒̔͋̊ͅs̴̡͇͖̱̓́̏͠ͅȟ̶̥̺̺̮̱̊̇̈̓ỉ̵̡̲̩̬̪̄̒͘͝t̸̤͖̯̺̠͑̊̓̍̚)̸̡̬͕̳͑̇̄̒̕_

No…They can’t be doing what Yamcha thinks they’re doing, right? There’s no way it could be, that thought didn’t make any sense! The ex-bandit has seen Krillin try and impress girls before and Tien…honestly, Yamcha wasn’t even sure if Tien was interested in _anybody_. Therefore, this hypothetical thought that shall remain unnamed is _definitely _not happening!

“Holy shiiiit…” Damn it, Krillin! Your surprisingly titillating moans are not helping matters! Yamcha gave his cheeks a rousing slap to keep himself together.

_(Damn it, Yamcha! Don’t let whatever’s going on in there get to you! I may not be psychic like Chiaotzu, but I can take a good guess that this is probably nothing! Just go to bed and forget all about-)_

A mental lightbulb interrupted that thought. There was…_one_ way the ex-bandit could get some closure on this.

_(I can just peek through the keyhole and see for myself! Haha, way to go, brain!)_ Yamcha gave himself a mental high-five before moving his head below the doorknob. The beds in each room were placed straight ahead of the door, meaning you could easily see whoever was on it without angling your neck so much. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be coming down this hallway, so Yamcha would have plenty of time to see just what was going on.

Slowly steadying himself to keep the door from rattling, Yamcha moved his left eye over to the tiny keyhole and carefully drew closer. Hopefully, this whole thing would finally satisfy his drunken curiosity and he could go to bed without any weird thoughts. Yessir, absolutely _no_ weird thoughts.

What. So. Ever-

“A-Ah! R-Right there, Tien…!”

Aw shit.

Well, from what could be seen, Krillin was lying down shirtless on Tien’s bed. Sweat seemed to be glistening from his body as his face showed a mixture of pain and…_pleasure_. _Ew_. That was strike one for Yamcha’s theory

The bald man was also being rocked back and forth on the bed with a pair of hands holding onto his waist. Take a wild guess as to who those hands belonged to.

“Hm…You’re still so _tense_, Krillin. Let yourself relax a bit, alright?” Tien cooed softly.

“Ngh…a-aah…!”

There’s strike two and we could probably just throw out the third strike at this point. It was obvious that Tien and Krillin were doing…gulp, _the do._ Even if you could only see the upper half of their bodies, there was no doubt about it. The way they were rocking, the way Krillin was moaning…That was enough evidence for Yamcha to stick to that conclusion.

_(N-No way! NO FUCKING WAY!)_

And frankly, that was a bit much for the ex-bandit to handle right now, as evidenced by him throwing himself away from the door in shock. That must’ve caused it to rattle a bit because not a second later…

“Huh? W-What was that?” Krillin asked, nervousness replacing the prior sultriness.

“I don’t know…Let me check,” Tien’s words were Yamcha’s cue to get the **f̷̢͓̭̳̠͑̾̋̈́̚ȗ̶̼͙͕̰̈́̔̅̆ͅč̷̡̤̻̯̣̓̄̈̃k̷̢̺͓̘̯͊͛̌͗̑ **out of there, **FAST**.

_(OHFUCK OHSHIT **OHFUCKSHIT**)_

Soon, three seconds became three milliseconds as the ex-bandit scrambled into his bedroom and shut the door faster than you can say [Scott The Woz's favorite catchphrase](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJWpHHWJJGo).

Once he was inside his room, Yamcha felt his heartbeat skyrocket when he heard a gentle click followed by confused triclops’ voice.

“Hello? Is anyone out there?” The question echoed throughout the hallway. Everything was silent for a brief moment and Yamcha dared not move a muscle as he leaned his whole body onto the bedroom floor. I don't know about you, but hitting the deck is probably the best thing I could come up with at a moment like this. If the floor is clear, which it was right now, then you wouldn't make much noise when you got down.

Yamcha held his breath as he curled up on the floor, not even daring to _breath_ while the triclops was investigating. That guy probably had ears like a dog…The ex-bandit didn’t want to think about what could happen if Tien found out he had been there, peeping into his room. If there was one thing you don’t do _ever_, it was pissing that guy off.

“Guess it was nothing…” Tien mumbled as he returned to his room. Once that gentle click sounded again, Yamcha let out a huge sigh of relief.

“That was too close…”

Best to just forget about all this and go to sleep. This was _not_ worth the heart attack…

\- - -Tien- - -

“W-What do you think made the door rattle?”

“I dunno, Krillin. There wasn’t anything out in the hall, so maybe the wind?”

“Wind? You’re serious?”

“Well, this place does have a lot of open windows, so it’s possible,” Tien shrugged as he got back onto the end of his bed.

“Anyways, do you need me to keep going or are you feeling better now?” The triclops inquired, but Krillin shook his head.

“No, it’s all good now. Honestly, I probably haven’t felt this good in years! I mean, where did you even learn how to do _that_?”

“Ah, well, I learned a few things when Chiaotzu and I used to travel a lot. I-It was only some basic stuff, so don’t think I’m like an expert or anything…” Tien looked bashful as he spoke, averting his eyes from Krillin’s. The shorter man carefully climbed out of the bed and stood before the triclops.

“Heh, don’t be so modest Tien. That skill you’ve got there’s gotta be a gift, there’s no doubt about it. Hell, you could make some killer dough doing what you did to me!” Krillin chuckled, giving his friend a light pat on the shoulder. This made the other man smile a bit.

“Thanks, Krillin. Hey, do you need that oil washed off before you go back?”

“Hm? Bah, it’ll be fine. This stuff is supposed to make you feel relaxed anyways, right? No sense in just cleaning it off, y’know?”

“Oh…yeah. I guess it’d be weird to just wipe it all off. Make sure it’s at least dried before you go to bed, though.”

“Don’t worry about it, Tien. I’ll be sure to not stain anything with this stuff!” Once he’d finished his piece, Krillin walked over to the door and place a hand on the knob. But before he turned it, he paused and looked back to Tien.

“Uh, what is it?” Tien asked.

“Heh, can’t believe I almost forgot to say this,” Then Krillin cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

“Thanks for the massage, Tien. You really helped me out with my back.”

Tien's mouth formed a tiny smile again.

"No problem, Krillin. If it ever bothers you again, I'm always here to help."

With that, both fighters retired to their own beds for the night. Everything was pretty weird up on this Lookout and massages in themselves were already kinda weird, but this session gave a sense of normalcy that the fighters needed…

Well, that and being hella relaxed.

And now it was only a semi-weird-ass night up at Kami's Lookout.


End file.
